We
gays confront bigotry on a daily basis.
We gays start new jobs with trepidation, unsure of how and when to come
out. We gays don’t hit on guys unless
certain that he “swings” the same way, because hitting on the wrong straight
guy can send you to the hospital. No
matter how liberal our city, we gays retain some aspect of fear that the people
with whom we interact have fallen prey to the angry, hateful message propagated
by individuals who claim G-d as theirs and theirs alone.
We gays suffer from
the same flawed, limited world view that judges and hates. We gays are no better than our adversaries.
If you are
reading this blog you are probably aware that a cultural battle over the place
of gays in society rages in America.
While I, and the majority of my gay peers and our allies, speak the
language of equality and advocate the removal of secular law from within the
tentacles of religion, the right leaning, conservative, Judeo-Christian caucus more
often than not labels us as sinners and condemns us to Hell. Two groups of people waging a rhetorical war,
each adamantly believing in their cause and neither willing to budge an inch. This conflict is steeped in hate that pollutes
both parties and detracts from the validity of both arguments. We frequently see this exemplified by those
on the religious side. Consider, by way
of example, the recent viral Youtube video depicting two young boys singing “ain’t
no homos gonna make it to heaven” in church while standing before a cheering
crowd of worshipers. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4LHw3KWS9A).
Watching it made me sick to my
stomach. But, I am ashamed to say, we
gays do not always take the high road.
Recently (not as recently as I’d like but I haven’t had time to write),
at a speech to a group of young adult journalist-wannabes, Dan Savage took a
few minutes to preach his message that young Americans should overcome the “bullshit”
of the Bible. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao0k9qDsOvs). If you watch the video you will note that
dozens of attendees left the hall, offended by the hateful message Savage
spewed. Nothing suggests that they left
because Dan Savage is gay and his presence offended them. Nothing in their actions connotes homophobia. They responded to Savage’s theophobia--his
intolerance for the religious beliefs of others. I won’t go into the ways Savage
misrepresented both the Jewish and Christian understandings of the Bible. I’m sure many individuals better versed in the
intricacies of this subject have written extensively on the topic and I would
fail to do it justice.
I firmly believe
that fighting fire with fire, wielding a tongue barbed with intolerance because
someone attacked you with a comparable weapon, leaves no one uninjured and
results in absolutely no progress. As
the saying goes, “an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” I understand both sides of this feud. After all, at the end of the day being both
religious and gay means I stand with one foot in each camp. G-d, as I understand “Him”, loathes
hate. He created the emotion for the
rare occasion where nothing else would suffice.
The one place I recall hate being condoned is with the relationship
between the Jews and Amalek. Love. Pity.
Compassion. These are the tools
we should use to counsel people and make them understand our perspectives.
To the faithful
believer who cannot fathom a world where homosexuality is morally acceptable,
don’t challenge me with fire and brimstone.
Don’t claim a superior connection
to a god neither of us has yet encountered.
Tell me about everything included in the Bible. Preach to me with love, embrace me as your
brother, and, if you must, pity me because you think I have gone astray
(thought I would never concede that final point).
To my gay peers,
I understand the pain and anger felt when someone bashes you for being true to
yourself. But be warned, you will never
succeed in changing their minds and winning support by digging your heels in
and responding with a bull-headed argument that religion, or that understanding
of religion, is out of vogue. Rather, paint
a fuller picture. Use the colors of the
rainbow you so proudly display to prove that you are not limited by your
sexuality and that you are a complete person.
It warms my heart to know that I am not alone in this belief
system. (http://outoncampus.org/uk/misc/946/anti-gay-leader-invited-to-lesbian-family-dinner).
Accept your disagreement
and fight in the courts to determine the future of the country, but don’t hate. There’s no need. You will accomplish nothing by adding more
strife and bitterness to the world.
